Penis fascination and urination

You cannot turn on the TV these days without seeing references to penises.  LOTS of references.  Seems everyone is fascinated with these strange objects.  Men especially.  They want to know the obvious, how they measure up but there is so much more...

How far can they pee?  Where can they pee?  The yard, the sink, around the toilet, in the corner of the bedroom.  Off of tall buildings, all buildings, into rivers, oceans and lakes.  Would women do this if we could? Can they write their name in the snow with their hot yellow urine?

Why do they have to urinate in the sink? I wash my food in there!  The toilet seems perfectly serviceable to me. Neither I, nor any of my women friends pee anywhere else if we can help it.  Of course occasionally we have to pee in the woods, during a long trail run, but we'd prefer the comfort of a toiletseat.  With paper.  Which brings me to toilet paper.  Some men use it, some don't. If they do not, they shake the excess pee off all around the room.  It even gets on them but still, shake shake shake!  They think all this convenience, fun and games  gives us penis envy.  They are so wrong.

And it is no wonder they cannot get their minds off their penises.  Even if you ignore them, they stand up and demand attention.  Constantly.  How uncomfortable to have to carry this sometimes heavy, demanding, fragile object on the outside of their bodies, front and center in the most dangerous, vulnerable position.  How did this evolve?  Certainly not  an 'intelligent design.'  If it was designed, it must have been by a woman with an awesome sense of humor!

 I think penises and their vulnerablilty make men angry, while the demands of their testosterone make them sooooo irate.  Big, strong men hate being vulnerable anywhere, even a tiny bit!  It makes whole cultures angry. This penis anger makes them lash out against women and women's bodies. This anger makes them legislate laws about women, trying to control them. They rape with this anger. They do not know what to do with all this aggression.  They start wars, shut down governments, murder, cheat, lie, steal and worse.  They are angry at the earth, their mother so they ruin her.   They shake pee all over their own house, they strew garbage and industrial waste all over the earth.

Oh, how I digress.  All because men like to pee all over the place; an ancient throwback to marking their territories.